2024 Funny smartass quotes about life

Short Witty Captions and Quotes. “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”. “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”. – Will Rogers. “It takes a long time to grow an old friend.”. – John Leonard. “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”. – Tom Robbins. “Never try to have the last word.. One peak coleman

18. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, some don’t turn up at all.” —Sam Ewing. 19. “Hustle until your haters ask if you ...Aug 24, 2020 · Stop procrastinating because who knows what tomorrow brings. “Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” —Erma Bombeck. Procrastination can be bad for your health—and that includes your mental health. Humorist Erma Bombeck understood that well. Here are a few: “Life is not about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself.”. – George Bernard Shaw. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.”. – …After encountering the hilarious Misha Collins and finding out what their names are, Dean questions the names in that world. It is one of many hilarious quotes in the episode alongside "That's fake me, this must be fake mine." "You married fake Ruby ." Misha's tweets also feature with the ever hilarious, "Hola Mishamigos, J2 got me good."Happy 50th birthday! - Unknown. “. Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. - Coco Chanel. “. You take all the experience and judgment of men over fifty out …There are always two opinions: Mine and the wrong one. (Unknown) A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string. (George Dennison Prentice) Life has no legs, but it can certainly give you a kick in the butt.Stop procrastinating because who knows what tomorrow brings. “Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” —Erma Bombeck. Procrastination can be bad for your health—and that includes your mental health. Humorist Erma Bombeck understood that well.Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. - Voltaire. “. Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln. “. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha."Everything in life has the potential to be funny. Stop hating on smartasses. Smartasses seize the moment while you are too busy over there being uptight. Born with a smirk, smartass for life." "If you are going to be a smart ass, you at least have to be smart first. Otherwise you are simply just an ass."May 17, 2023 · Witty Quotes to Sharpen Your Cleverness. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye!!!!!”. “Arguing with a fool proves there are two.”. – Doris M. Smith. “Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”. – William Shakespeare. catchy clever quotes. “If we cannot be clever, we can always be kind.”. – Alfred Fripp. Jul 3, 2023 · Here are a few: “Life is not about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself.”. – George Bernard Shaw. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.”. – Steve Jobs. “In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”. – Sun Tzu. “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”. – Dalai Lama. Sep 19, 2023 - These sassy sarcastic quotes fuel our day, every day. It's like the vision board that personifies us. We're sassy, sarcastic, quirky, snarky, and ...Quote 12: M'Lynn: I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature ...The meaning of life is to give life meaning. - Ken Hudgins; The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson; When words fail, music speaks. - Shakespeare ; Embrace the glorious mess that you are. - Elizabeth Gilbert; Normality is a paved road: it's comfortable to walk but no ...Smartass Quotes. Senior Quotes. Super Funny Quotes. Funny Quotes For Teens. Sassy Quotes. Funny Quotes About Life. 4 Comments. Howie We had a poster at my work years ago that read: IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, ... The dumber you are, the smarter you think you are. Click The Pin For More Funny Quotes. Share the Cheer - Please Re-Pin ...Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas. I haven't failed at anything, I've just found all the wrong ways of doing it.Discover and share Funny Grandson Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.Funny Witty Quotes. “Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.” ~ Ralph Charell. “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” ~ Reese Witherspoon. “A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn’t implement any of it.” ~ Michael Bassey Johnson.5 Smart Ass Sayings. Five funny quotes. Humorous one liners. Sarcastic sayings.1. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”. – Unknown. 2. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”. – Billie Burke. 3. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!”. – Jeffrey Gitomer.Sep 19, 2023 - These sassy sarcastic quotes fuel our day, every day. It's like the vision board that personifies us. We're sassy, sarcastic, quirky, snarky, and smartass-y!This collection of fun and funny quotes will hopefully bring a smile to your face, and can be used for a variety of crafts, like cards, posters, and signs, or for social media captions and graphics. Sit back, relax, and bring a bit of comedy into your life with these 111 lines of reflection, humor, and lived experience. 19 Funny quotes about life2. “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!'”. Hunter S. Thompson.7. "I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life." 8. "Life is like looking for your phone, most of the time it's in your hand." 9. "To be old and wise you must first be young and ...Jun 25, 2015 - Explore Shelley Andersen's board "Smart ass quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about bones funny, funny quotes, quotes. Apr 25, 2019 - Explore GrammarFlip's board "Grammar Cartoons!", followed by 621 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about grammar humor, grammar, teacher humor.Born with a smirk smartass for life if you are going to be a smart ass you at least have to be smart first. Top 80 sarcastic quotes 1. Sarcasm is the brain defence mechanism against stupid people. See more ideas about quotes funny quotes smartass quotes. The lowest of the low. Don t let someone else dictate how you live your life. Awesome short ...Funny Witty Quotes. "Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece." ~ Ralph Charell. "If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them." ~ Reese Witherspoon. "A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn't implement any of it." ~ Michael Bassey Johnson.Feb 15, 2023 · Top Smartass Quotes. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ~ Oscar Wilde. Better to play dumb than to go as smartass… after all smartasses get what they deserve in the end. ~ Deyth Banger. The trick is to find that one person who can give it back as good as they can take it. ~ Sally Thorne. The most hilarious smartass quotes can help you express yourself, show people you’re smart, and get a laugh from them or just yourself. We all have feelings, and sometimes, those feelings are specific. The stars align, the planets are in shift, Mars is in retrograde, …Apr 11, 2023 · 1. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”. – Unknown. 2. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”. – Billie Burke. 3. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!”. – Jeffrey Gitomer. Tags: smart ass, funny saying, funny sayings, lazy, funny quote, procrastinate, procrastinators, joke, funny, humor, procrastination, procrastinator, dilly dally ...Very funny quotes in hindi : kisi aur se dhokha khaane se acha hai, Mere saath chalo momos aur Golgappe khayeinge. Funny Quotes in Hindi on Life. फनी कोट्स : चाहे जितना मेहंगा earphone लगा लो …. सबसे पहले एक कान का खराब होना ही है ...Just in case you can’t get the real thing today, here are some ridiculously funny parenting quotes that sum up life as we know it. We’ve pulled together the best of the best in hopes of giving you a laugh! 70 Funny Parenting Quotes that Sum Up Parenting to …Check out our smartass quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops.Oct 13, 2019 - Sarcastic and sarcasm quotes. See more ideas about sarcasm quotes, sarcastic, quotes.201 Goodbye Quotes For Friends. “You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing.”. – E.B. White. “We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.”. – Pascal Mercie.Clever Quotes. There’s nothing like a really clever joke or one-liner to make us laugh, and that’s why we the team at Quotereel really enjoyed collecting these clever quotes. Most of them are funny, some of them are thoughtful, and some are thought-provoking. Clever humor is often based on sarcasm, which is a way of saying something ...Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” —Oprah. “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” —Harvey Fierstein. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” —Albert Einstein. The sappy and sentimental quotes aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay. Some people like to live by humorous lines and end up inspiring others with their witty quips. A good amount of comedy reminds people that no matter how tough life gets, a few laughs can make things seem a little better.A hand-picked collection of thoughtful one liners, keen and winged words of wisdom (as an inspiration) for speeches, letters, greeting cards, weddings, birthdays, and goodbye / farewell. This List of quotes and sayings commonly used in everyday conversational English, can help to speak English like a native speaker by learning English idiomatic ...Funny Smartass Quotes? "If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and the impersonators would be dead!""When a man falls overboard, you say MAN OVERBOARD! When a woman falls overboard you scream: FULL SPEED AHEAD!""Statistics show married men live longer than unmarried men, but married men are more willing to die.""Three …Barbra Streisand. Short Life, Life Is Too Short, Life Is Short. 29 Copy quote. The most powerful social media... it is not the internet, it is not Facebook - it is food. This connects all human beings.In a world filled with constant noise and distractions, a well-crafted funny short quote or saying has the power to captivate and entertain. Whether it’s a clever one-liner or a humorous observation, these witty snippets of wisdom have beco...Often the best clever quotes are actually making fun of the person saying them, which shows that some very clever people enjoy making fun of themselves, instead of others. Humor is a great way to soften the blow of becoming aware of one's faults and shortcomings, and so helps us to forgive ourselves for not being perfect.May 5, 2015 · Well, not for cute kids per se, but for capturing and posting their funny quotes about love, life, and the universe. The app called Little Hoots is helping parents quickly document these wise and wonderful baby quotes on the go. Now they can share every side-splitting and heart-warming little word for the world to see. Apr 25, 2019 - Explore GrammarFlip's board "Grammar Cartoons!", followed by 621 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about grammar humor, grammar, teacher humor.16. Being smart is always reading other people. "One of the smartest things you can do as a manager is to hire the right person and then keep them happy. Happy workers tend to take less time off ...Top Smartass Quotes. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ~ Oscar Wilde. Better to play dumb than to go as smartass… after all smartasses get what they deserve in the end. ~ Deyth Banger. The trick is to find that one person who can give it back as good as they can take it. ~ Sally Thorne.Do You Want To Be On My Bad Side Smartass Quotes Sarcastic Quotes Siding Quote . Smartass For Life Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life Life Quotes . A Sweetheart A Smartass That Is Intelligent And Can Hold Conversations Of Substance As Well As Cooks Bakes And Funny Quotes Sarcastic Quotes Sassy Quotes .There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” -Drew Carrey. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” -John Gotti. Smart Quotes. Quotes tagged as "smart" Showing 1-30 of 581. “Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”. ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. tags: acceptance , inspiration , inspirational , smart , understanding , wise. 4131 likes. Like.One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”. “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”. “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”.Funny Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart. There are a lot of ways to make people laugh through a handful of words. But when it comes to a sophisticated audience, an average «pop» joke is not enough. To sound smart and witty, get inspired with these funny clever jokes: Why was 500AD to 900AD known as the Dark Ages?I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. 2. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”. 3. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. 4.This is the fight of our lives.”. ~ Steve Rogers, Avengers: Endgame. “The hardest choices require the strongest wills.”. ~ Thanos, Avengers: Infinity War. “Today we don’t fight for one life, we fight for all of them.”. ~ Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War. “It’s not enough to be against something.Sep 1, 2023 - Explore Lourdes's board "Smart Ass Humor" on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, bones funny, funny quotes.28. “The easiest way to organize your stuff is to get rid of most of it.”. 29. “When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.” —Bernard Bailey. 30. “Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” —Carl Sandburg. 31.Find and save ideas about smartass quotes on Pinterest.Jul 9, 2020 - Explore Tim Covert's board "DIRTY QUOTES" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny quotes, quotes, dirty quotes.The most hilarious smartass quotes can help you express yourself, show people you’re smart, and get a laugh from them or just yourself. We all have feelings, and sometimes, those feelings are specific. The stars align, the planets are in shift, Mars is in retrograde, and we just don’t care. Thomas A. Edison. 6. "If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things."-. Albert Einstein. 7. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game ...2. “I’m not rude I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.”. 3. “The most dangerous phrase in any language is “We’ve always done it this way.”. 4. “I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”. 5. “Why be moody when you can shake yo booty”. 6. Breakup Quotes. Quotes tagged as "breakup" Showing 1-30 of 1,045. “I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain.18. Hall of Fame wide receiver Jerry Rice has great quotes, but you won't hear me say that. NFL. 19. Basketball coach Billy Tubbs had one of the best quips of all time. (Those shots need to fall ...These funny motivational quotes about life can help inspire you to achieve your goals while also putting a smile on your face.Laughs, Serious Quotes, Jokes. 249,268 likes · 158,588 talking about this. JOKES LAUGHS AND QUOTES....KEEP SMILING... PLEASE SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND BRING A SMILE TO THEIRNov 6, 2021 · 10. "Me thinking about my life." 11. "When you're an adult but you feel like a kid faking their way through life." 12. "When everything is going wrong in your life but you're used to it." 13. "Me ... Jan 16, 2019 - Explore Jody Hardesty's board "Funny smartass", followed by 160 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, sarcastic quotes.Funny Quotes About Life Looking for a funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that underlies many facets of life? From life's many lessons, struggles and joys to the always interesting realities of life, you might find the perfect words in these funny life quotes.Lots of famous quotes, witty sayings, humorous observations and the meaning of life… just kidding. Pickup Lines. We have lots of witty one-liners and snappy comebacks, all with the goal of engaging the opposite sex. Some of these pickup lines are guaranteed to have never worked. Art from the Big Easy.Life is about creating yourself.". "Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.". "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.". "You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.". "Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in and day-out.".Thomas A. Edison. 6. "If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things."-. Albert Einstein. 7. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game ...Top Smartass Quotes. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ~ Oscar Wilde. Better to play dumb than to go as smartass… after all smartasses get what they deserve in the end. ~ Deyth Banger. The trick is to find that one person who can give it back as good as they can take it. ~ Sally Thorne.Sep 20, 2021 · “Everything in life has the potential to be funny. Stop hating on smartasses. Smartasses seize the moment while you are too busy over there being uptight. Born with a smirk, smartass for life.” “If you are going to be a smart ass, you at least have to be smart first. Otherwise you are simply just an ass.” Short Witty Captions and Quotes. “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”. “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”. – Will Rogers. “It takes a long time to grow an old friend.”. – John Leonard. “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”. – Tom Robbins. “Never try to have the last word.Aug 3, 2023 · The sappy and sentimental quotes aren’t for everyone, and that’s okay. Some people like to live by humorous lines and end up inspiring others with their witty quips. A good amount of comedy reminds people that no matter how tough life gets, a few laughs can make things seem a little better. Feb 1, 2021 · Charles Shulz. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”. – George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama. Smartass Quotes About Work | You don’t have to hold on to your sarcasm just for your relationship. Let it out a bit at work, too! Quotes About Surrounding Yourself with Happiness | The important thing about your relationship is that you are overall happy. Happiness is the key. Best Quotes about Living with Intention | You should have ... If you’re looking for funny quotes to make you smile, to give a toast with, or to send to a loved one, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve curated the best funny quotes and sayings that cover everything from everyday life to relationships and even work!

But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.”. – Irish Saying. “You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday.”. – Catherine Pulsifer. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”. – Bob Hope. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.”.. Greensboro general for sale by owner

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. “ – Ron White. 2. Sometimes having fun is part of life “To …7. "I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life." 8. "Life is like looking for your phone, most of the time it's in your hand." 9. "To be old and wise you must first be young and ...Jun 25, 2015 - Explore Shelley Andersen's board "Smart ass quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about bones funny, funny quotes, quotes.Jul 9, 2020 - Explore Tim Covert's board "DIRTY QUOTES" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny quotes, quotes, dirty quotes.2. "I'm not rude I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.". 3. "The most dangerous phrase in any language is "We've always done it this way.". 4. "I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.". 5. "Why be moody when you can shake yo booty". 6.Sep 1, 2023 - Explore Lourdes's board "Smart Ass Humor" on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, bones funny, funny quotes.Jun 2, 2020 - Explore Debbie Gauthier's board "SMARTASS SAYINGS", followed by 109 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about sayings, funny quotes, bones funny.Sep 25, 2023 · 7. The kind of life motivation I need. “Life will be boring AF if you never mess up.”. 8. Sometimes you need to indulge the sense of humor of *LIFE*. “When something goes wrong in your life, just say ‘PLOT TWIST’ and move on.”. 9. But I want the ones with truffle and peanut butter. “Life is like a box of chocolates. Find and save ideas about smartass quotes on Pinterest. 2 inches but really thick Classic T-Shirt. By The-Directory. From $19.84. Funny Sarcastic Sayings Smart Ass Donkey Sarcasm Classic T-Shirt. By sunnym79. From $19.84. Dilly Dallying Essential T-Shirt. By kjanedesigns. From $19.84.Aug 25, 2022 - Explore Joanna's board "smart-ass quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about quotes, funny quotes, sarcastic quotes.These funny motivational quotes about life can help inspire you to achieve your goals while also putting a smile on your face.This List of quotes and sayings commonly used in everyday conversational English, can help to speak English like a native speaker by learning English idiomatic expressions and proverbs. Funny One Liners. When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.7. "I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life." 8. "Life is like looking for your phone, most of the time it's in your hand." 9. "To be old and wise you must first be young and ...1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life ."...There are always two opinions: Mine and the wrong one. (Unknown) A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string. (George Dennison Prentice) Life has no legs, but it can certainly give you a kick in the butt.85 Most Brilliant Kids' Quotes This Year From LittleHoots. Adorable babies alone can melt any heart, but combined with their naive understanding of life and honesty, these cute kids ' quotes are more than loveable. And as with every aspect of our life, there's an app for that, too! Well, not for cute kids per se, but for capturing and posting ...01 “I bet it took you a whole year to come up with that one.”. This is something you can use when the smartass says something really funny. It says that you know he/she isn’t good at this, so it must’ve taken some time to come up with the line. 02 “The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.”.This sarcastic quotes about love feature reminds us that some people just can’t be understood. In life, love, or math. “I’m a real sweetheart…and a real smartass. It’s a package deal.”. We can’t all just be cute and sweet. Some of us have to be sassy and smartassy. This is great, there is a lid for every pot as they say!The meaning of life is to give life meaning. - Ken Hudgins; The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson; When words fail, music speaks. - Shakespeare ; Embrace the glorious mess that you are. - Elizabeth Gilbert; Normality is a paved road: it's comfortable to walk but no ....

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